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Oh no.

In: Sports

Posted By: Doc Holliday at 6:57 pm

3 Aug 2010

ESPN - Free-agent center Shaquille O’Neal will likely sign with the Boston Celtics, as soon as Tuesday night or Wednesday, sources told ESPN The Magazine’s Chris Broussard.  O’Neal had said earlier Tuesday that he hopes to make a decision about his future soon, and both and Comcast SportsNet New England indicated that the Celtics were “close” to signing the four-time NBA champion.  The Atlanta Hawks had been the front-runner to land O’Neal last month and are not completely out of the picture, sources told Broussard, but they have fallen behind the Celtics.

Oh no.  I had heard the ongoing rumors, but I was praying it wouldn’t come to this.  Not the Shaqtus.  Not Blue Chips.  Not the biggest chief in the league after Lebron and Kobe. [smacks forehead in frustration]

When I saw the headline, I first went through that reaction of utter disbelief.  Next, I slipped into a phase  of denial.  I kept trying to think of reasons why Shaqtopus might still go to the Hawks, which is completely asinine because who the fuck would ever want to go to the Hawks?  Fucking town doesn’t even watch their football team play.  AND they have Matt Ryan and Samuel L. Jackson.  Waste.  So then I  immediately asked myself the one question every man must ask when a player he doesn’t like joins one of his town franchises – could I see myself warming up to this guy?  Same thing I asked myself when Lackey joined the team.  Now Lackey’s been up and down this season, mostly down, but I’ve warmed up to him.  I don’t think he’s as much of a douche as I used to think he was.  So could the same progression occur with Shaq, albeit to a greater extent?  I tried thinking of the obvious pros: he’s taking the veteran minimum, he’d only sign for two years, he’s a monster, and we’d have a crew of talented big men that can hurt you in a lot of different ways.  Those are some decent pros, right?  Then I read this from the ESPN article…

For me, it’s been a real thinking process,” O’Neal told The Associated Press on Tuesday from Orlando, where he was promoting his television series, “Shaq Vs.,” with teen pop star Justin Bieber.

…and the pros flew right out the window.  But we’ll see.  If he plays well enough and doesn’t hurt himself then I’ll probably be fine with the move.  It’ll just be the whole cheering for an idiot thing that we’ll have to warm up to.

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