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Will This Movie Suck? Captain America

In: Movies

Posted By: Doc Holliday at 10:52 am

22 Jul 2010

I suppose there’s a slight chance this movie could be worth watching, but it’s all going to come down to the trailer for me.  Seeing as how that won’t be released for months, I guess we have to base our initial opinions on posters like the one above, which by the way, is pretty fucking sick.  It looks like the studio has chosen to go with a realistic, Batman Begins-esque style.  That’s definitely a plus, but at a certain point Captain America’s going to be somewhat absurd.  Ignoring the whole super soldier serum plotline for a minute, don’t you think his outfit is a tad flamboyant?  Like if I was a German in a bunker in Carentan, and I saw this Uncle Sam-looking dude running at me with a shield and a pistol, I’m immediately putting a bullet between his fucking eyes.  And if he magically deflects it with his shield, then I’m blasting him in the knee caps.  Done and done.  It’s not like he’s bulletproof, right?  In fact, his squad mates probably hate him, revealing their location all the time and charging headlong into battle before everyone’s in position.  I can almost guarantee an exchange like the one below will take place during the movie:

Cpn. Barnes: “1st Platoon! Hold steady! Advance on my command!  2nd Platoon! Prepare to lay down some covering fire!”
(Pvt. Stillwell runs up and crashes to the ground next to Barnes.  He holds his helmet to his head and tries to catch his breath)
Pvt. Stillwell: “Sir! We have to move now!”
Cpn. Barnes: “Oh yeah? And why is that Stillwell?”  (Barnes reloads his weapon)
Pvt. Stillwell: “It’s Rogers, sir. On the right flank. He’s…he’s attacking, sir!”
Cpn. Barnes: “What do you mean he’s atta–”
(Cpn. Barnes looks up to his right and sees Steve Rogers in red, white, and blue battle fatigues out in front of the line, sprinting toward the German line, earth exploding all around him.  He’s ducking, weaving, deflecting – killing a Nazi with every shot fired from his sidearm.)
Cpn. Barnes: “Damnit, Rogers, you sonofabitch! Alright men, 2nd platoon covering fire!  1st platoon, you’re with me!  Chaaaaaaarge!!!”

Oh, and Chris Evans plays Steve Rogers/Captain America.  I’m pretty sure he’s done nothing in his career except comic book movies.  He’s got real range.  Prolly the next Daniel Day-Lewis.

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  • JPizzle

    I believe they signed him for an 11 movie deal as Captain America. Seems a little more promising than his role in the Fantastic Four

  • LordoftheKings

    I predict that Chris Evans will be recast as Captain America after the movie bombs. He may not even make it to the Avengers movie.

  • Geebus3030

    The thing was Captain America started out as a scrawny little dude until they injected him in the Super Soldier project. So I really don't see that scene you've created playing out. However, I do think this movie is going to suck considering some of the set photos I've seen, the costumes look extremely cheesy and the guy they picked for Captain America….I give it TWO THUMBS DOWN!

  • Dissapointed

    This movie will suck for sure as long as Chris Evans is in it!

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