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Today is Anti-Jokes Day

In: Random

Posted By: Alfred K at 11:16 am

22 Apr 2010

A man walks into a bar.

He’s an alcoholic and it’s destroying his family.

Your mom is so fat she faces an increased chance of heart disease.

How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer?

Because she leaves a very nice note about needing to log on to email her thesis and says she hopes you had a great weekend.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

DHL, sign for this please.

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One.

Q. What do you call a black man flying a plane?

A. A pilot.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender takes one look at it and asks: “Who forgot to tie up their horse?”

Why do undertakers wear ties?

Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

A boy walks in on his mother and father having sex and runs out. The father goes and explains to his son that what he saw was a natural act of love and that one day he would understand,

one day he does.

What’s the difference between a child molester and a bag of groceries?

One’s for holding food items and the other molests children

Q. What did the widow say to the lawyer?

A. I’m glad he’s dead. I’ve got all his money now and can fuck other guys without the fear of being caught.

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