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Doomsday Vault Needs My Consultation

In: News

Posted By: The Booze at 11:07 am

12 Mar 2010

Fox NewsIn a remote mountainside on the Norwegian tundra sits the “doomsday vault,” a backup against disaster — manmade or otherwise. Inside lives the last hope should the unthinkable occur: a global seedbank that could be used to replant the world.

The Vault is dug into the Platåberget or plateau mountain near the village of Longyearbyen, Svalbard — a group of islands north of mainland Norway. The arctic permafrost offers natural freezing for the seeds, while additional cooling brings the temperatures down to minus 0.4 degrees Fahrenheit. Should disaster wipe out a species — or in the case of a large-scale global crisis — its stockers hope the seeds stored there could be used to restore life.

“The region on Svalbard surrounding the Seed Vault is remote, severe, and inhabited by polar bears,” according to the Global Crop Diversity Trust, which helps to support the vault’s operations.

The preciousness of the seeds there is also reflected in the inaccessible nature of the vault. “Anyone seeking access to the seeds themselves will have to pass through four locked doors: the heavy steel entrance doors, a second door approximately 115 meters down the tunnel and finally the two keyed air-locked doors,” the Trust writes. “Keys are coded to allow access to different levels of the facility. Not all keys unlock all doors.”

OK, I know that seeds, beans, and plants are important and shit, but let’s not lose sight of  few more paramount things to preserve in this vault. We need to stock like 200,000 bottles of hennessey, an N64 with Wayne Gretzky 3D Hockey, a fleshlight, a shamwow, the internet, the recipe for Coca-Cola, LOST seasons 1-6, Fubar, Bear Grylls, super soakers, and Nic Cage.

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