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Dumbest man ever castrates himself

In: News

Posted By: Alfred K at 12:10 am

15 Dec 2009

Cmon honey, if we dont have sex I thus have no choice except to cut my balls off

Cmon honey, if we don't have sex I thus have no choice except to cut my balls off

A man has cut off his own testicles after his wife refused his advances, reasoning that without them he could not be tempted into adultery by sexual frustration.
The 40-year-old Colombian farmer describes how his experience gelding farm animals led him to try the procedure on himself:

“I’ve castrated pigs, cats, dogs and three days later they are healed.
I thought that’s what it was going to be like with me. I had practice with animals, so I went ahead, put some pressure on it, and cut them to remove them by force!
When I saw that I could no longer count on her (his wife), so that I wouldn’t keep bothering her, I made the decision to cut my testicles off because I am a Christian and did not want to go look for another (partner).”

Doctors report he did a thorough job, having completely lost his testicles, but that the wound has become infected.

It must have been a rough week of reasoning for this guy. After realizing it was winter, he decided to throw away all of his shorts and bathing suits. After waking up in the morning, he set his bed on fire. After his morning breakfast, he smashed his empty glass of orange juice on the floor.

On the plus side though, this man has basically taken his corrupted DNA out of the gene pool. So on that measure, Bravo sir! Well done!

In all honesty, this whole situation would have been completely averted if the guy could have just converted to Islam.

When a man calls his wife for sexual intimacy and she refuses him, thus he spends the night in anger, then the angels curse her until morning.? (Sahih al-Bukhari & Sahih Muslim, See: Riyad al-Salihin, No. 281)

When a man calls his wife for sexual intimacy, then she should come, even if she is (busy) in the cooking area.? (Sunan al-Tirmizi & Sunan al-Nasa?i)

This Hadith indicates that it is unlawful (haram) for the wife to refuse her husband for sexual intimacy without a valid reason. Menstruation will not be considered a valid reason, for the husband has a right to enjoy her from above the garment (on top of cloths).? (Sharh Sahih Muslim, P. 1084)

Boy those ‘slims are a barrel of laughs!

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