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Chief of the Week: Elizabeth Lambert

In: Chief of the week

Posted By: Doc Holliday at 10:45 am

10 Nov 2009


Not really much room for debate here.  Elizabeth Lambert is a crazy bitch.  One nomination comes from the NBA in the form of Boston Celtic Rajon Rondo.  He and Chris Paul were butting heads for 60 minutes a couple days ago at the Garden.  Chris Paul was certainly at fault as well, but I guess Rondo’s behavior was a bit more outrageous.  He was chirping at Paul all game, just being a cocky asshole, saying Paul would never wear a championship ring, yada yada yada.  Then he tried to instigate some more after the game ended in a 10-point Celtics victory and all the players were shaking hands.  I love Rondo as much as the next Boston fan, but I hope he takes the jawing down a couple notches as the season progresses.  He’s surrounded by the most talented group of teammates in the league.  If he played point for the Grizzlies, I bet his tongue wouldn’t be so sharp.  Just shut up and play, kiddo.

The silver medal goes to Florida linebacker Brandon Spikes for trying to eye gouge Georgia running back Washaun Ealey last week.  I know ugly stuff goes on at the bottom of a scrum in the heat of the game, but rarely do fans get to witness it via video replay.  Spikes was unfortunate enough to stick his fingers in Ealey’s facemask while both players were in clear view of ESPN’s cameras.  Just a despicable move no matter how you look at it, and the  journalists who are sort of defending him have baseless arguments.  I don’t care if no one picked up on it live and he’s become a victim of the youtube era.  The hair-pulling, pinching, choking, punching, and elbowing that all take place in a pile-up pale in comparison to trying to claw someone’s eyeball out of its socket.  Brandon “The Optometrist” Spikes was the dirtiest football player in America last Saturday, and the one-game suspension hardly fits the crime.  Now, onto this week’s champ.

Has anyone ever witnessed a male player being that dirty for an entire game?  In any sport?  Because I sure haven’t.  It was like a soccer-version of Slap Shot on that field and Elizabeth Lambert was Ogie Ogilthorpe.  She was always hitting the girls from behind or when they were in prone positions.  I don’t know about you guys, but I’m getting a strong scorned lesbian lover vibe off of her.*  Like she walked in on her girlfriend blowing a dude in her dorm room right before she had to catch the bus to the game.  I’ve never been attacked by an enraged lesbian before, and after watching that video, I know I never want to be.  Better stay out of New Mexico for awhile, a state that now harbors a…

Chief of the Week.

P.S. – Not sure I’ll get to post this NM-related video ever again, so enjoy the musings of one Bugs Bunny:

(*not that there’s anything wrong with that)

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    Elizabeth Lambert is a junior at the University of New Mexico, and plays for their soccer team the Lobos originally from California (too bad for California). So, this loser knows they are going in to a game that they will most likely lose and since they do not have the talent to score they resort to this kind of play, it has very minor thought to it than let’s say passisng the ball through your opponents defense and scoring a goal.

    The other issue is the where were the referees, were they all older white men with their tongues out, enamored and unable to call the game objectively (this game had so many penalties that did not get called), I mean what are they getting paid to do. Who has paid these guys off? Do we have to change the game where only women referees can call women games. After watching the video someone was paid off, that is my conclusion.

    And Lizzy, watch you back and please stay out of soccer (you real should be banned, the game does not need people like you in it), so many will be gunning for you now. Who knows maybe you were just drumming up business for your “Occupational Therapy practice”, yah good luck with that, I doubt your bed side manner is any different from your sportsmanship.

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