Craigslist: Any leg amputees out there looking for a tandem Halloween costume this year?

Creepy?  Maybe a little.  But there are definitely some awesome benefits to a costume like this:

5.)  Give the amputee a fanny pack full of beers and you’ve got yourself a portable bartender.

4.)  You have an extra set of eyes on every girl in the room wearing a slutty halloween costume.  Portable offensive coordinator.

3.)  The amputee can hum your theme music as you walk around the party.

2.)  If he ever wants to be Lieutenant Dan for Halloween, you get to be Forrest.

1.)  You could invent a crazy new position for a foursome.  I’m envisioning something Newton Cradle-ish.