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Today in Cliffhanger News Stories: Kid trapped in Hot Air Balloon

In: Horrible Ways to Die

Posted By: The Booze at 4:01 pm

15 Oct 2009

Update: The story was a hoax…kid was never in the damn balloon.

Pixar Up!

FORT COLLINS, Colo. — A 6-year-old boy climbed into a homemade balloon aircraft in Colorado and floated away Thursday, forcing officials to scramble to figure out how to rescue the boy as the balloon hurtled through the air.

The bizarre scene played out live on television and prompted fears that the flying saucer-shaped balloon would crash with the young child inside. The balloon rotated slowly in the wind, tipping precariously at times.

FAA spokesman Mike Fergus said the agency has been notified and it was unclear whether traffic controllers had picked it up on radar.

Larimer County sheriff’s spokeswoman Eloise Campanella said the device had the potential to rise to 10,000 feet. Sheriff’s officials last saw the device floating south of Milliken, which is about 40 miles north of Denver.

“We were sitting eating, out looking where they normally shoot off hot air balloons. My husband said he saw something. It went over our rooftop. Then we saw the big round balloonish thing, it was spinning,” said neighbor Lisa Eklund.

Additional details about the child and the balloon were not immediately available.

Believe me, I know there’s a big rivalry these days in being the first news source to report on an event. I’m under that same kind of pressure every day as I try to make you laugh before the other blogs do.

However, this is a horribly written news report. For those of us still at work, not watching CNN, this article had a frustrating finish.  Why is this whole story written in the past tense? Shouldn’t it at least read “Developing Story…?”

Imagine if all journalists ended their stories with cliffhangers? This isn’t an episode of LOST, this is a fucking kid floating around in the Ford Pinto equivalent of a hot air balloon.

And why was there a makeshift hot air balloon hanging around the property? What kind of a loser sits around making half-ass hot air balloons? This kid just finished watching the latest Pixar movie, what did you think was going to happen?

- Thanks to Chris from BostonSportsPulse for the tip.

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