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Chief of the Week: Serena Williams

In: Chief of the week

Posted By: Doc Holliday at 4:33 pm

14 Sep 2009

SerenaWilliams1stPitchCWS@NYY82809AP

Just fucking turn sideways and throw it, idiot.

Kanye, Kanye, Kanye…just beautiful.  The man is a social train wreck.  I hope his Sunday nomination holds up through next week.  As we’ve seen this week, placing an early entry doesn’t always guarantee you the W.  Merriman did his damnedest when he “prevented Tila Tequila from leaving” his home early Sunday morning.  Can’t really blame him though.  I’ve been known to get a bit rough with my girlfriend whenever she doesn’t want to get back in her cage.  But don’t you feel sorry for her – I keep her next to a window, makes her feel like she’s outside.

SPL125025_012

Whether Merriman did “choke her and throw her to the ground” or not, there’s some shady details surrounding the incident, including just how ridiculous Tila may or may not have been acting.  I have less sympathy for an imbalanced woman who was shitfaced, “walking around naked,” and acting belligerent.  Plus, she looks like she bruises like an AIDS patient.  Regardless, Serena topped it Saturday night in the U.S. Open Semi-final match between her and Kim Clijsters.

Longer version here.  The miniscule $10,000 punishment dished out by the USTA has been drawing criticism, and I agree she’s getting off pretty easy.  I propose a simple solution - that Serena be forced to wear hoodies and windpants for the rest of her tennis career.  You know, cover up the yuck.  If I wanted to watch a rhinocerous run around in high-def for an hour, I’d rent Planet Earth.  I’m surprised Hugh Grant hasn’t hit that yet.  Even though she lost the U.S. Open, I’d still say she has a strong chance of winning this season of The Ultimate Fighter.  I know the broadcast was a bit muffled, but she actually says, “I swear to God I feel like taking this ball and shoving it down your fucking throat…or maybe I’ll just eat it.”  I’m out.

It goes without saying that I think Venus is an idiot, too.  Maybe you can’t help it when you’re raised by a psycho.  The man produces champions, champions and…

Chiefs of the Week.

By the way, in case you were wondering if we have the Kanye video back up and running, you better fucking believe we have the Kanye video back up and running.

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  • http://www.jinx.com/ uneducate mom

    why does tequla look like an alien baby?

  • http://boozeworthy.com/2009/10/06/chief-of-the-week-kanye-west/ Chief of the Week: Kanye West | BoozeWorthy

    [...] busy, because the incident was somewhat old news after a full week had passed, because we had posted the video a couple times already, etc., etc.  But the son of a bitch still hasn’t learned.  So, let’s spend the whole [...]

  • http://boozeworthy.com/2009/10/13/chief-of-the-week-josh-mcdaniels/ Chief of the Week: Josh McDaniels | BoozeWorthy

    [...] Josh, here’s hoping the Chargers bring you down a few notches next Sunday.  Shawn Merriman almost won this contest a couple of weeks ago.  It’s touching - a rehabilitated nominee [...]

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