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Town Security System Uses Fake Cameras

In: News

Posted By: The Booze at 10:51 am

11 Sep 2009

Orlando Sentinel - Three years ago, MetroWest was hit with a crime wave. In the sprawling west Orlando community, there were rapes, daytime armed robberies, assaults and a homicide — the shooting death of a young newlywed just outside his MetroWest apartment.

Residents, business owners and real-estate brokers all turned to the developer of the community’s Veranda Park town center, Kevin Azzouz, asking that something be done.

Azzouz promised an aggressive security plan: about 40 or so “infrared” security cameras along the major thoroughfares to be monitored by security; a sophisticated three-dimensional crime-tracking program to monitor crime; and 16 off-duty police officers to beef up patrols day and night.

Now, residents have discovered the following:

•  All of the security cameras that Azzouz had installed are fakes — empty boxes not connected to any monitoring system and without working parts.

•  The crime-tracking computer program was Google Earth, an online maps program.

•  The number of off-duty officers never reached more than six and has dwindled to just a couple. Starting Oct. 1, it will be just one officer.

Ah yes, another town has fallen victim to the placebo effect. Kevin Azzouz fooled the shit out of them and laughed all the way to the bank. This sort of treachery can be found all around us these days. Frankly I’m sick and tired of falling for these tricks. It’s time to make some changes in my life…

- I will stop pushing the elevator “door close” button in my building. Instead I will track down the man who installed it and shit on his doorstep.
- I will stop adjusting the office thermostat. Instead I will show up to work in a wife beater and bathing suit until they buy me a fan.
- I will no longer push the bullshit crosswalk button when I want to cross the street. I’ve played enough frogger in my day to handle the task.
- I will tell any girls I bring home that birth control doesn’t work. They will be forced to finish me off with a BJ.

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