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School Bus Spoon Attack

In: News

Posted By: The Booze at 2:23 pm

19 Aug 2009

spoon crime

Florida Today - An 18-year-old student faces criminal charges after Melbourne Police said he attempted to assault a school bus driver with a spoon.

Christopher Sides of Melbourne was charged with assault on an education official today after police were called to the 300 block of Croton Road to investigate initial reports of a stabbing attempt, officials said.

“He basically didn’t want to go to school,” said Deputy Chief Ron Bell of the Melbourne Police Department.

Listen, I don’t know enough details here to pass judgment on the student. Sure, assaulting someone with a spoon definitely makes you a pussy…that’s like hotwiring a moped. If you’re gonna get arrested, get your money’s worth. However, just like this kid, I can’t stand school bus drivers…

It’s bad enough that they drive you somewhere you don’t want to be, but the annoyance doesn’t stop there. They show up to your bus stop 10 minutes early when you’re running late, 30 mins late when it’s pouring rain, they make you listen to their shitty taste in music, yell at you in foreign languages, molest anyone in the first 2 rows, and make awkward eye contact with you in the rear-view mirror.

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