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Woman Pregnant with 12 Babies

In: News

Posted By: The Booze at 12:56 pm

17 Aug 2009

The Sun - A woman is soon to deliver a record-breaking 12 babies, it was claimed today. The teacher is expecting six boys and six girls, according to reports. She conceived the tots following fertility treatment, after suffering a number of miscarriages.

The mum – who has not yet been named – reportedly told doctors she was “feeling fine and looking forward to hugging her six boys and six girls”. She is said to be in ‘good health’ but subject to constant medical monitoring.

The father, named in local reports only as Marwan, said: “In the beginning, we thought that my wife would give birth to twins, but more foetuses were discovered. Our joy increased with the growing number.”

BULLSHIT! You can drop the act Marwan, there is no way you are excited about having 12 kids. If having an abortion here didn’t resemble a mass genocide, you would be all for it. I am willing to bet you are planning your escape right now. Have you ever seen Cheaper by the Dozen? 12 kids are expensive. And to make matters worse, they are all the same age. They will be shitting themselves at the same time, crying through all hours of the night, and taking your money for at least the next 18 years.

Not to mention, your wife’s nether regions are never going to be the same. You can’t push out a dozen babies and hope everything snaps back into place. It’s gonna go from a crawl space to a cavern, a crevice to a wizard sleeve, the jaws of life to busted ravioli. Unless you buy her instructional videos on extreme Kegel exercises, her ship will have sailed.

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  • Catman

    Haha busted ravs…mmmm

  • Tom Caron

    I whack off to Kegel exercise videos every day.

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