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David Ortiz' Struggles: Revealed!

In: News|Sports

Posted By: Alfred K at 12:33 am

8 Jun 2009

David Ortiz’ stats to date:


50| 194 | 225 | 38 | 21 | 14 | 1 | 2 |  18 |22|  24 | 53 | 3 |          0  |  1   |.196

His BB%, K%, and Batting Average on Balls in Play % stats are all a bit on the low side–but surely they are not bad enough to explain his putrid totals (2 home runs!?) so far.

No.  There are far more simple reasons for his slump, according to our exlcusive investigation.

Take a close look at the above picture.  This is from David Ortiz’ 54 HR 2006 season.  Notice the slick pulled-down-pantleg-over cleat look.  Pretty G.  Also take note of the hella fatty he is packing in his lip.  That thing looks like a whole meal!  Now look at the following pictures taken of Ortiz from this year.

Notice the differences?  A) He seems to have changed his pant style.  B) He seems to be not packing lips anymore during at bats.  Because everyone knows you could not make a face like that with a fatty of skoal or red man in your mouth.

Also, his swing style has changed.  He is hitting the ball with more of a topspin swing that an flat drive.  Many players go through a phase like this when they age and begin to hit for better average and less power.  But some pundits are claiming that his off-season workout plan with Fast Track Tennis may have inadvertently caused him to hit with a more topspin swing.

Click here for footage of Ortiz’ second home run of the season, a topspin stinger

Perhaps David Ortiz has grown tired of his old ways.  Hitting 50 HR every year gets to be boring after a while.  Maybe he took a $20,000 bet to quit chewing tobacco, like Francona did.  In any event, I won’t pay to see the Red Sox play this year until they get Ortiz to change his ways.

In any event, buy low on Ortiz if you can.  His HR per flyball rate is only around 2% (career norm of 18%).  If he increases that to just 10%, he realistically might have 10 HRs by now.  I would conservatively guess he finishes the season with 15 HR and a slightly decreased risk of cancer.

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  • jim

    oh man how does that EVEN work. multiple lips?!!?!?

  • jim

    oh man how does that EVEN work. multiple lips?!!?!?

  • jim

    oh man how does that EVEN work. multiple lips?!!?!?

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