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The 11th Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Practice Archery During Mass

In: News

Posted By: The Booze at 8:54 pm

24 Mar 2009

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SHEBOYGAN FALLS, Wis. – A pastor and parishioner have been cited by police for shooting an arrow during a church service. The pastor asked to have the arrow shot across the front of the church during a recent service at Pentecostals of Sheboygan County as a ‘teaching tool.’

Apparently this became news because one man in the church objected to the proposition and the pastor asked him to leave. He did leave and called the police soon after. How hypocritical have Christians become these days? I thought there was some unwritten Vegas rule like “what happens in church, stays in church.” I mean we go in there and confess our sins to these men time and time again and expect them not to tell our significant others about the promiscuity of our nightlife. Yet this pastor just wants to fire a stick across the room and some snitch runs to the pigs.

This article actually made me reminisce about my catholic schooling. People are just getting soft these days, back then if you had a problem with how things were done, you were shit out of luck. I got bow and arrowed every day, in the ass, uphill both ways. If I fell asleep in class, I often caught a good stoning. Don’t get me started on the stigmata lessons.

On a separate note, the parishioner was cited for “using a missile indoors.” Whoa whoa whoa, when did we start categorizing arrows under missiles? This isn’t like calling ziti and penne spaghetti, or vietnamese and japanese people chinese, you can’t just throw a generic word around like that.

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