Killer boots, man.

Let’s breeze through the nominees that have stepped up since the Leno/Conan shitstorm dissipated.  Simon Monjack announced he would be filing a wrongful death lawsuit against Warner Brothers, claiming they killed his wife Brittany Murphy by firing her from Happy Feet 2.  He went on to state:

“She has never, and I repeat NEVER, done drugs.  Not a line of cocaine, not a hit from a joint, nothing.  She was anti-drugs.  There are no drugs involved.”

Really, Simon?  Must I point out the fact that there was a drug store’s worth of pills on her bedside table?  Christ, you’d think she had a controlling interest in Pfizer corp.  Another Chad worth mentioning would be Wyclef Jean and his charity for Haiti.  Go here to read all the legalese crap that people are currently sifting through.  What it boils down to is that the charity did not pay taxes for the first 12 years of its existence, large sums of money haven’t been diverted to Haiti’s relief efforts but possibly to Wyclef himself, and concerts held by Wyclef to raise money for Haiti over the years were apparently not benefit concerts in the traditional sense.  As in money to the tune of $400k+ wound up in Wyclef’s and his business partner’s bank account for “rent, production services, and Jean’s appearance at the show.”  I thought the whole point of charity concerts was to donate all the time, money, and effort accumulated through the show to the people who need it most, aka Haitians.  I must have been mistaken.

Lastly, continuing with the Haiti theme, we have Paul Shirley, a shitty basketball from the earlier this decade who played a total of 18 games in the NBA.  Now, he apparently writes for ESPN.  Well, he did write for ESPN, before he decided to write the following:

Dear Haitians — First of all, kudos on developing the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Your commitment to human rights, infrastructure, and birth control should be applauded. As we prepare to assist you in this difficult time, a polite request: If it’s possible, could you not re-build your island home in the image of its predecessor? Could you not resort to the creation of flimsy shanty- and shack-towns? And could some of you maybe use a condom once in a while?  Sincerely, The Rest of the World.

I don’t have much to say on the matter, other than “Paul Shirley, you sir, are a douchebag.  Sincerely, The Rest of the World.”

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